Hi,
Uhm... It’s me.
Honestly, my mind is a blank canvas right now. I’m kind of just struggling to think up of proper words and combining them into comprehensible sentences. I guess I’ll talk about my existence. I think life is unfair. I remember thinking that evil could be abolished by just words alone when I was younger but I have obviously grown out of that thought. The world is a very beautiful place but the people in it, not so much.
Ever since I was young I can remember wrong being done to me and honestly, I thought it was completely normal. But trust me, no type of wrongdoing to a child, adult, or elder is alright. I’m glad after many years that chapter has been closed and hushed away from the world’s piercing gaze. I don’t think I’ve lived a normal life for probably half my life or more but I don't complain about it much. I’m just content with the things I have, like a roof over my head, a family, and great friends that I have known for many moons. Sure thinking about the past hurts, might make me tear up like right now but it’s alright we’ve all been through shit. Life ain't fair like that but that's just what makes living worthwhile, we live and die for the good days.
Enough with this depresso expresso stuff this globe of a world has at times treated me fairly and I’ll forever always remember this. I treasure the memories life has handed me I will definitely take them all to my grave where I can continue to replay them like a broken record.
I’m a simple person, it doesn’t take a lot to get high dosages of dopamine pumping through my veins. Honestly in my opinion small gestures can lift my mood higher than the moon like remembering things I like or hitting me up after a while of us not talking. Diving deep into an interesting book also lifts my spirits up! Sometimes people having trust in me is all the more I can ask for. To be honest I seek refuge in some people because just their presence is uplifting and with all honestly, they make my life so much more vibrant. I enjoy talking about nerdy things like why bees are so important to the environment or how the coral reef is vital for us.
I want to learn and try so many things in life but it feels like I’m tied to chains and can only try a very limited amount of things and once I cross the line, I get yanked back. Let me give an example. You know, ever since fifth grade It was a dream of mine to become a marine biologist. I love everything about the ocean, what's not there to love?! It's so mesmerizing it's beautiful yet dangerous which is why I love it so much. Sadly I had to walk away from such a wild-sounding dream because my parents didn't approve of it. :c
I want to be something meaningful like the rest of us but sadly I feel like only a few, selected amount of people get to achieve such success in this world, and the older I grow my willpower to keep chasing such dreams fade.
I don't know why I’m typing all this, no one cares and few are here to read this but while you're here let me dedicate this to you, you who are the thrill-seekers, This is an anthem for all the outcasts, For those who have never fit in. This is a little something I wrote to end things off on a good note.
Enjoy,
This is for people who live on the euphoric highs and feel the shattering lows, crashing and breaking into a million fragments on the hard concrete floor.
The ones who have felt the cold slap of reality against their cheek, and have been burned by those they cherished, those they thought would stay.
For the kings and queens with broken rusty crowns living on nothing but hope and adrenaline yet always feeling alone.
This is for the ones who come from broken homes, afraid to love yet give their kindness to those around them for pennies, even to the least deserving.
The ones who use the stars to guide them through the darkness, never having felt like they deserved to see the light of day.
You have so much to live for. You may feel like you have no one but consider me a friend.
Consider me an ally.
Consider me your shoulder to cry on, to lean your head on, to fall asleep on.
You might not be ok today, nor tomorrow, nor the day after but eventually you'll find yourself where you're supposed to be.
I hope one day you find the passion and warmth you crave so much. I hope the missing puzzles in your life one day fall into place tight and snuggly.
You deserve to be happy even if you don't think you do.
And when you go on to achieve great things, I'll be right there beside you applauding you and cheering you on.
If you ever get lonely I'll be right there with you. Believe in yourself the way I believe in you.
This has been an interesting way to spend my time, to say the least, but no regrets here. I’m glad I invested time into this. c:
